In Psalm 45, we encounter a unique rendering of glory to God the Father, Jesus His Son, and the church as Jesus’ bride. If one is not careful while reading this, they can become quite confused as to of whom each title is given.
Jesus is the king and the church (the bride of Christ) is the queen. The queen is made so not of her own accord but as a result of being married to the King. The psalmist specifies the God of the King, which refers to the Heavenly Father, whom gives direction and power. In John 14, Jesus reflects this notion perfectly:
10 “Do you not believe that I am in the Father, and the Father is in Me? The words that I say to you I do not speak on My own initiative, but the Father abiding in Me does His works. 11 “Believe Me that I am in the Father and the Father is in Me; otherwise believe because of the works themselves.
10 I will rejoice greatly in the LORD, My soul will exult in my God; For He has clothed me with garments of salvation, He has wrapped me with a robe of righteousness, As a bridegroom decks himself with a garland, And as a bride adorns herself with her jewels. 11 For as the earth brings forth its sprouts, And as a garden causes the things sown in it to spring up, So the Lord GOD will cause righteousness and praise To spring up before all the nations.
Luke 14:26 reflects the voice in verses 10-11, where the psalmist tells the bride to forget their family and recognize that they are now joined in holy matrimony to the King. This is replicated in the scriptures explaining that in marriage (earthly and spiritual) we become “new” in that we are to leave our old family and recognize our new family as we are joined as one to our spouse. In comparison to our relationship with our “old” family, we should honor first our spouse. This holds true in earthly marriage as well as our spiritual marriage to God. To be clear: God does not direct us to literally hate our mother, father, and siblings, but rather we should esteem our spouse above the family we have left when we married. I could certainly write much more about this theme but in short, our relationship with whom we are married (ultimately Christ) takes precedence. Our loyalties have now changed. As the Apostle Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 5:
14 For the love of Christ controls us, having concluded this, that one died for all, therefore all died; 15 and He died for all, so that they who live might no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf. 16 Therefore from now on we recognize no one according to the flesh; even though we have known Christ according to the flesh, yet now we know Him in this way no longer. 17 Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. 18 Now all these things are from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation, 19 namely, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and He has committed to us the word of reconciliation.
We must come to learn what this new life contains for us. Just as a newlywed husband and wife must learn what it means to live together as a couple, we too must understand what it means to live a life bound to Christ as His bride and queen and the purpose of it. We see this reflected in the next verses in Psalm 45. We see the result of the bride’s new joining with Christ, that others will be added as daughters and sons of the Lord (daughter of Tyre & sons becoming princes). The city Tyre was converted to Christ and became a strong church in the first century.
Our joining with Christ in matrimony brings Him and the Father glory because our conversion results in the conversion of others. Our purpose for being “saved” from our old life (i.e. marrying into the new family of the Kingdom) is to draw others to the King and thus also become part of His Bride (the church). So, when we look at it from this light, our “leaving” the old life and learning the new life that God has created for us in turn is a testimony to the glorious life in God’s Kingdom and therefore draws others near and leads to their salvation as well. When we “hate” that old life and their fleshly connections we aren’t running away from them, but rather showing them the better life that God has in store for us and He is glorified. We see this reflected in Ephesians 4:
17 So this I say, and affirm together with the Lord, that you walk no longer just as the Gentiles also walk, in the futility of their mind, 18 being darkened in their understanding, excluded from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, because of the hardness of their heart; 19 and they, having become callous, have given themselves over to sensuality for the practice of every kind of impurity with greediness. 20 But you did not learn Christ in this way, 21 if indeed you have heard Him and have been taught in Him, just as truth is in Jesus, 22 that, in reference to your former manner of life, you lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit, 23 and that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind, 24 and put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth. 25 Therefore, laying aside falsehood, SPEAK TRUTH EACH ONE of you WITH HIS NEIGHBOR, for we are members of one another. 26 BE ANGRY, AND yet DO NOT SIN; do not let the sun go down on your anger, 27 and do not give the devil an opportunity. 28 He who steals must steal no longer; but rather he must labor, performing with his own hands what is good, so that he will have something to share with one who has need. 29 Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. 30 Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32 Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.